I think i fixed it.
Even though I had downloaded the latest video driver on the dell website for the intel 82945g chipset, there was a newer driver at intel.com. at first it wouldn't let me install it becauase it said something like it was not approved by my systems integrator, but i extracted the files from the archive and after uninstalling the old drivers and utility, I manually installed the new driver using the 'have disk' method.
This seems to have solved the problem. It has also greyed out the 'hide modes this monitor cannot display' I can only assume that this was a known problem and this is how intel have fixed it. It also now detects the TV as 'Digital TV' instead of 'DIgital DIsplay' so I can only assume this driver has been tweeked to work properly with big tellys.
Oli.