I'm sure I've had similar problems (and frustrations) but can't remember exactly what solved them for me.
Some ideas off the top of my head:
(1) try using the VGA instead of DVI plug for the monitor
(2) in Vista safe mdoe, update drivers and then choose simple settings (like 640x480, 256b colour, 60Hz refresh) before rebooting into normal mode
(3) in Vista, make sure it's not trying to extend your desktop to a 2nd monitor.
(4) in Vista, try making your 2nd monitor the primary and only one.