This seems to be how Dell use their proprietary connector:
http://www.lnmdesign.com/400sc/front_pnl.html- see the FNT_PNL section.
and here's the motherboard manual:
http://support.dell.com/support/edocs/systems/dim5150/en/om/WD846A02.pdfbut it's a bit rubbish and non-techie
So, I'd say it's pin 19 and 20 - the pins on opposite sides of the connector, just towards the centre of the bank of pins, adjacent to the missing pin. Do you feel lucky?
If the PC has a **reset** button, then with some wire and some jiggerypokery, you can reroute the power switch to this, and use it instead.
hth, Danny