The first thing you require is an Attitude Adjustment Utensil (AAU). I find an 4 KG sledge hammer most satisfying. Apply the AAU liberally about the device until it has had its attitude adjusted to something resembling Cylindrical Filing Cabinet filler.
Have a cup of coffee or what ever barbecues your steaks and then go out and buy another printer. Your time is worth much more than this pile of junk. I have spent hours farting around with one. To date about $600.00 in time.
Email HP a nasty diatribe complaining about the quality of their drivers.
There is a post about the size of Encyclopeadia Britanica on the HP web site specifically about this printer. By looking at it I estimate the there are several lost man/woman/person years lost in these POWOCs (Pile Of Wobbly Old Crap).